


Drinking Secrets

by Mosspool13



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Episode 85 Spoilers, F/F, my heart is so full
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 08:22:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21443152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mosspool13/pseuds/Mosspool13
Summary: "I don't know.""You don't know?""Yes I don't know!" She hisses between her teeth in a low tone, careful not to let her voice get too loud like Nott had earlier. "I don't do feelings, Nott!"
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett & Nott, Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett
Comments: 8
Kudos: 196





	Drinking Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> Basically the end of that conversation between Nott and Beau

"So you still into Caleb?" 

"Eww, gross, no." Nott says, slamming her hand onto the table. "That was a long time ago, and like I said, I got to know him and he's--" she waved her hand back and forth, and then laughed. "I love him, of course,_ of course_, he's _brilliant_ and amazing, and wonderful, but he needs protecting and I'm his protector, you know? It'd be weird." She shudders a little, slamming down another shot. "Also, he's, you know, crazzyyy." She makes the finger motion, but she softens the joke by giving Caleb a fond look from across the room.

Beau rolls her eyes and takes the next shot from the bartender as he slides it across the bar to her. 

Nott's eyes roll her way, sharply, drunkenly. "So what are you gonna do?" She asks. She tosses down another shot of whiskey, smacking her lips and grinning. 

Beau looks at her hands around her shot glass. "Nothing." 

"What do you mean, nothing?" 

"I can't just--I mean you told me, before," and she waves her hand frantically in Fjord's direction across the room, leaning against the wall and talking in low tones to Caduceus and Caleb. "that Jester likes Fjord and that you think Fjord likes her back. I'm not gonna--"

"Okay, well, maybe he doesn't, I don't know," Nott backtracks, leaning in. "He's been extra nice to her lately so I thought--"

"I know what you thought, and I mean, it was_ fine_, until--" She glares at her hands in fists now. She hates doing this vulnerable shit. "I don't know." 

"You don't know?"

"Yes I don't know!" She hisses between her teeth in a low tone, careful not to let her voice get too loud like Nott had earlier. "I don't do feelings, Nott!" 

"Seems like you do." 

"Shut up." Beau says, taking the shot and shuddering as it goes down her throat. She's not fucking drunk enough for this. "I don't know what to do about them." 

Nott looks down at the bar table and Beau does too, staring at the slosh of alcohol shining across the wood, and the stains of drink discoloring it. It's a disgusting bar, actually, there were not disillusions about that, and Beau could smell the rancid scent of soar milk from here. She'd seen the glass Caleb had been holding earlier, and she'd winced but hadn't stopped him from taking it. She feels a bit bad about that, but he should have known better.

"Well seems to me like you have a couple options." Nott points out. "You can tell her." 

"Not a chance." 

"Okay, let me finish." Nott says, holding up her fingers. "You can tell her. You could also talk to Fjord, like you said you would, and find out for sure if he likes her too, and then make a decision based on that. You could also do nothing, and let this go on and see what happens. Or," and she looks very proud about this one, "you let me do the talking, and I talk you up to Jester and we see if she--"

"No Nott!" Beau growls. "I told you that I don't want you meddling or saying anything!" 

"But why _not?!_" Nott hisses back, glaring. "I'm really good at it." 

"You really aren't." 

"Hey." Nott points a drunken finger at Beau. "Don't sass me when I'm trying to help you." 

"Alright! Alright..." Beau glares at the tabletop. "I don't think Jester feels the same way, like you said, she's liked Fjord for a long time." 

Nott doesn't say anything and Beau thinks that's her confirming it, and Beau scowls at the table. She picks up her last glass of whiskey and swallows it down with a grimace. She stands up from the barstool and slams the empty glass on the bar. "I'm going to bed." She starts to head off to their makeshift sleeping quarters but Nott stops her with a hand. 

"She hasn't talked to me about Fjord in a while, you know. Not since the whole on the seas pirate stuff." Nott admits, looking surprisingly solemn for someone as drunk as she is. And Nott drunk is generally more boisterous than usual and more likely to make gambles. "You might have a chance?"

Beau doesn't know about that, but she stuffs her hands in the pockets of her robes and nods at Nott. She saunters off towards the hall with the Gentleman's guest quarters, passing the guys on the way. Caleb has disappeared with his glass of milk, leaving Caduceus and Fjord standing against the wall. "You alright?" Caduceus asks, as she walks past. 

"Peachy." She tells him and he nods but looks at her shrewdly. She avoids his eyes and glances at Fjord, who smiles at her. 

"Having fun with Nott? We could hear you guys yelling over there for a bit." 

"Yeah." She agrees. "Nott's pretty fun." When they aren't discussing secret crushes and all that. 

She makes her way into the room, finding Caleb with his hand over his mouth and Jester fussing over him, the milk upturned between them and Beau winces. "Don't know how you couldn't have smelt how bad that thing was, Caleb." Beau comments from the door. 

Caleb is a little green in the face, but he nods at her agreeably, a hand still over his mouth and Jester hands him a napkin before standing. "I'll get someone to clean it up, Cayleb! You stay here and try not to blow chunks, okay?" 

He holds up a shaking thumbs up as Jester bounces over to Beau and the door. 

Beau takes her by the elbow. "Are you okay?" She asks. "With...?"

Jester glances at her and nods. "Yeah, yeah I'm okay." She smiles. It's a little shaky at the edges. "Like you said, fuck him, right?" 

Beau smiles at her. "Right." 

Jester disappears and Beau makes her way over to her stash of bedding, carefully stepping around the milk and vomit on the floor. She lays face down in the sheets, smothered and head pounding from the alcohol she'd imbibed. 

Nott had said she had some options: talk to Jester, talk to Fjord, or do nothing. She's not having Nott wing-man for her, and she already said she'd talk to Fjord, but even then... 

So it really was either talk to Jester about it, or do nothing. 

Feelings. God. Why couldn't they be as straightforward as punching things are?


End file.
